Shaving your legs and vertigo.....very interesting

While vacationing this week I came down with a severe inner ear infection.  The room felt like it was spinning violently and I could not stand.  I made the mistake of closing my eyes, which made it all the worse.  After ruling out more serious maladies and calling my doc who ordered a prescription, I was feeling better (or somewhat better) in no time.  Now the room only spins when I look down or turn too quickly. However, the plane ride home may hold some unforeseen fun.  Praising the Lord that it is only a 2-hour flight.

I found that having an inner ear problem can bring about some very funny situations.  OK, so I am easily amused!  But you have to admit that shaving your legs while having vertigo can lead to some very funny stories....not to mention striped legs!  And there may have been a time or two in a restaurant where I had to explain my inner ear problem so not to appear as consuming too much alcohol!  Yes, vertigo can make it appear to others as something else less noble unless you know the truth that I don't drink alcohol and that I had vertigo. 

As I was reading the scriptures this morning I was amazed at how many times things looked one way but in truth of the Holy Spirit were another.  Let me show you what I mean.....

First, there was David.  Samuel came to Jesse's house looking for a new king.  All Jesse's sons passed before him, except for one.  The Lord said no to all of them. Samuel asked, "is this all you have?'  "Well, yes, there was another out in the field named David," Jesse said.  Samuel replies, "Get him in here - I'd like to see him,"  remembering what the Lord had commanded to Samuel.  1Samuel 16:7 - "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.  The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart."  As soon as Samuel saw David, the Lord said "Rise and anoint him as king."   Life was about to change for David. 

In Acts 3 there was a man over forty years old who was miraculously healed. It looked like he would bear his infirmity the rest of his life.  But along came Peter and John who called on the name of Jesus to heal this crippled man.  They declared in Jesus' Name that this man was made whole and healthy.  Then the Sanhedrin got all upset and threw them in jail.  But when  the authorities saw the courage of these men, Peter and John,  knowing they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and took note they had been with Jesus.  Seeing the man who was healed standing there, of course, what could they say?  So the authorities ordered  Peter and John to stop talking about Jesus - but their reply was how could they, after all they had seen and heard!  So they were released and set free. Life was about to change for Peter and John, not to mention the former crippled man. 

Then there was Jesus.  He was born to a local girl, Mary.  It looked like he would grow up like every other Hebrew boy in Israel.  But early on, things began to change.  The locals would soon learn there was something different about this little guy.  Then He went to the cross for who He said He was and it looked like He was dead, but then Sunday came  - and Mary came to the tomb and the stone was rolled away.  Then He appeared to Mary and then to the disciples and then to others.  So what appeared to be dead was really alive.  Life began to change that day for all of us!

And life will begin to change for you as well as we seek the truth.  So many times we make judgements and conclusions by sight alone.  We think our ways are true and just.  We think our motives are righteous.  We think our hearts are pure.  We think our way is the right path.  We think we have no worth.  We believe there is no purpose for the trial we are going through.  The list can go on and on in our sight.  But in light of the truth of the Holy Spirit ....we are wrong. 

You see, my vertigo makes me think the room is spinning.  In reality, the room is not spinning, nor am I.  But my brain believes that I am moving. I even think I have evidence that it is!  UNTIL I focus on one thing in the room which is fixed.  Then my brain gets it.  The body is not moving, therefore it calms down (medical term) and the feeling of movement ends.  All the body knows the truth now - I am not moving. 

So it is with us until we focus on the one thing that gives us the truth..... the Lord and His Word.  We won't know the truth, but we will think we do.  We will even have evidence that we do but the truth is we don't unless we stop, open our eyes and focus on Him and His Word - THEN we will know the truth.  So I am asking today will you stop, open your eyes and focus on HIM!  He is focused on you and wants to show you the truth so you can walk without staggering!

Now if you will excuse me, I have to stagger over to the restaurant for a little lunch.  (I sure hope this Antivert kicks in before I get there.  I just hate all this explaining!)  Focus, focus, focus........

Forgive them they know not what they do.....(Luke 23:34)

They stand at the door and gather in the halls of any church.  They write on blogs, tweet, fb, text and email.  They speak, lead studies, go to Bible studies and take places of leadership.  "They" are you and me at any given moment of time: hearts that have been trampled and hurts that have piled up and  faith that is tired and discouraged.  Living on "should have" street in "what if" USA.  Carrying around a wheelbarrow overflowing the burdens of shame and regret.    Read on.

I walked in on my own two feet. From the outside it all looked put together. What a fooler! If she had been able to see me spiritually she would have seen my downcast head and my tear-stained face. She would have seen me barely able to stand. She would have known this was not the time to confront or tell me about her perfect family, perfect life and her perfect ministry. If she had known she would have put away her self-righteous words, her religious ambition and tucked away her judgemental attitude for another day. If she knew I am sure she would have taken the time to help carry my burden and pray for me.

Had she known she would not have condemned the very sin my family had faced or I had committed. If she had known she would have spoken words of life and not condemnation as I struggled  believing the Lord would or could forgive me or work good in my hopeless situation.   If she had known she would have surely walked this journey along side me with words of encouragement and worn her knees out in prayer on my behalf. If she had known she would not have used words for the devil to remind me that even the Lord could not redeem the bad decisions I have made.

If she had known how powerful and destructive her actions and words were she would have repented and handled my crises differently. If she had known how unimportant she was and how important the Lord was surely she would have acted differently.

If she had known what the future held for her or her family members she would have repented of her self righteousness, pride and religious ambition.  She would have cried out to the Lord for herself and her sisters in Christ. In doing so, the Holy Spirit would have revealed the unseen to her so she could minister effectively.  She would have become real and seen the power of the Lord working out His glory in her life and those around her.  She would have faded and only Christ would be seen.

 Don't you think....if she had known?

New Look!

Forgive the construction mess! We are renovating The Back Porch. The ministry is growing so please bear with us as we make the much needed changes.

Master Gardener......

The garden this year looks great! I tried some new ideas and surprisingly they have worked! Now if we can just wait for the fruit of our labor, like tomatoes, green peppers, more tomatoes, cucumbers, more tomatoes, herbs, more tomatoes and, of course, what self respecting garden wouldn't have SUNFLOWERS! We will turn these luscious veggies into wonderful salads, salsa, sharing our bounty and beautiful summer table centerpieces. Right now we are waiting for just the right time. Gardening is something I really enjoy, not necessarily good at, but enjoy. I am looking forward to the Master Gardener program starting in August. The name might be a little deceiving in my case though, "master" gardener. Hmmm, I guess for me it should be "trying hard to be like the master" or "so it turned brown and looks dead, it's the thought that counts", well, you get the idea.

As I was gardening the other day I was deep in prayer, talking to the Master. He was reminding me of so many things through the weeding, pruning(which I dislike the most) and growing process. I was surprised about weeding.

If you haven't weeded in a while the weeds grow right along side the plants and start to look just like each other. You really have to get a closer look to distinguish between the plant and the weed. Sometimes you have to wait a while to see how it starts to grow up before you can tell for sure. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between good and evil, isn't it. Between right and wrong, even the most experienced gardener needs wisdom from the Master to know the difference. Then the weed needs to be pulled up by its root just like the sins in our lives. If not, then it comes right back up the next big rain or long dry spell. Funny thing about weeds they love heat and dryness more than water.

Then there is the pruning process. UGH! Oh, how I dislike pruning. Pruning produces so much extra refuse to pick up and dispose of. I am often tempted not to do it at all, but it is a much needed process in gardening. If not for pruning, your plants would not yield very much fruit. Especially trees, if you don't prune them they just grow out, not up. So pruning even though it is extra work it's necessary and healthy for any plant, shrub or tree, or you and me. Thankfully we don't have to do THAT very often. Pruning allows us to produce good fruit to share and bless others with.

Now growing and fruit producing that's my favorite. Waiting for the plant to grow up and produce its fruit whether flowers, shade from its branches or TOMATOES requires patience but is always worth the wait. Don't you think? Waiting for others you have deposited time and energy into in the name of the Lord because in due time your work will produce a harvest......if you don't give up. Aren't you glad the Lord didn't give up on you?

Gardening is such a parable of the Lord's goodness to us. Some are weeding, some pruning, and some growing and producing fruit. Oh and let's not forget the watering. IF we belong to the Master Gardener, Jesus Christ, we all are in some process of gardening along the journey of life.

We could park here and draw all kinds of analogies but I would love to hear from you about your "gardening experiences" and how the Lord is teaching you in your gardens.

ANY GARDENERS OUT THERE?

WOW! Look at this verse! Thought for sure this would bless you!
Isaiah 61:3b
"They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor."

The Hunt

The spaniels just came and sat down on the porch to rest awhile from the "hunt". It seems the woodpile is a very good place to drive two spaniels crazy and one very smart and agile chipmunk to hide out. First in one hole and then to the next the chipmunk taunting their lack of ability to catch him. Finally discouraged and tired they come on the porch to sit and pant, I am sure all the while thinking of the chipmunk that got away. Oh well, there is always this afternoon, round 2!

In my devotional time this morning I was praying and thinking about missed opportunities and regrets from the past. I was reading Luke 22:54-62. It seems that Peter was forewarned that he would fail the Lord three times before morning. Of course, Peter didn't believe that would be possible of him. Until he heard the rooster crow and knew that three times he had denied the very Lord he said he would defend until death. But still the Lord never left Peter. The word says at the end of this passage that he was close enough to hear his words and look straight at him. That look caused Peter to see his own sin and he broke out in sad sobbing of regret.

But still the Lord never left Peter. At the end of Luke 24 we see the Lord appearing to his disciples and ascending into heaven after blessing them. Then it says that they went home with great joy. Quite a different scene than the one above, isn't it?

What a great story about us as well. We, too, have been forewarned in the Scriptures, "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of the Lord" and we have a promise that "he will never leave or forsake us". We all have been where Peter was. Wishing that we had made different decisions and wanting life to turn its tide back for a "do over" and make it the way we wanted it to be. It is hard to believe in these times that we "can go home with great joy" but with the Lord that is possible as we wait for him to bring His plan about in our lives.

Perhaps sitting on the back porch at the Master's feet is not just for dogs but for us as well. The spaniels didn't just give up and say we aren't hunting chipmunk anymore. They decided they would rest a while and try again another time. And get this, I didn't throw them out of my site because they failed. I was cheering them on for the next chase. You know, even though those spaniels didn't catch that chipmunk they still had hope that they would and there was joy in the waiting!

Now get out there and try again. Yeah, yeah, you failed we all have at some time. Yes, I know friends are upset because you didn't come through for them on the faith thing but the Lord knew this ahead of time. He prepared the plan for your life with this failing in mind. Now let it go! Go on! Get out there the time is short and great joy has your name on it!

Anxiety and Fear....Double Trouble

Matthew 10:30
"And even the hairs on your head are numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."


Well, I promised you another story the next time you stopped by the Back Porch. A story about a woman who was bound by fear and anxiety. A true story of freedom! So sit down,grab a cup of tea, preferable sweet tea, and be blessed.

It happened so fast one minute I was driving, plans for the day swirling around my head and the next moment I was lying in an ambulance on my way to the hospital. What had just happened? My body and mind were grabbed with fear. I still could not piece it all together. I was driving when a faint feeling came over me. My breathing became labored and I was sure I was having a heart attack. With my heart pounding out of my chest I flagged down a driver on the interstate and asked for help. The journey began.

While at the hospital a myriad of tests were done. The diagnosis - ANXIETY. WHAT? No heart attack? No stroke? No strange unnamed disease? Just anxiety? Doubting the diagnosis, I began to search doctor after doctor to find out what this dreaded disease that had consumed me was. But each one had the same diagnosis - ANXIETY. The cure - take this pill it will calm your fears and help you relax. I just could not accept these "life threatening" symptoms were just anxiety. In the meantime my world got smaller and smaller. Every place I would have an attack I decided I shouldn't return for fear of another attack. Eventually my world became the rooms of my house and my husband was the safe person in my life. Fear was definitely controlling my every move. I continued to search the medical community for answers but all the same - anxiety. Hopeless and helpless to stop this unseen bandit I decided living was too risky, too scary and death would be a much better alternative. I was afraid to live and afraid to die.

As a young woman I had hopes and dreams far different than the life I knew growing up. I tried very hard at 24 years old to make my life as perfect as possible. No conflict, no fear, no imperfections. A peaceful home, a clean,neat and tidy home, a home free of strife. I was failing miserably on all fronts especially now since "anxiety" entered the picture. Where did it come from? After talking to many a counselor I learned it wasn't about my life today but about my life earlier. All the emotions never dealt with as a child and stuffed deep within me as an adult, triggering anxiety attacks now. Stuffing, I learned, creates no room to deal with real life. Stuffing deals only in the make-believe world, the perfect world. It is like a bucket that you keep stuffing and stuffing - soon it begins to boil over from being too full. My bucket was full and boiling over.

The many nights hearing my father abusing my mother, running downstairs to find a knife to my mother's neck, and fleeing to my grandmother's house where I cried myself to sleep wishing life could be different. We would return but walked around carefully never wanting to make my father angry or disturbing the fragile peace within our home. I learned stuffing my emotions helped me to survive, but that did not serve me well as an adult. It was time to deal with the real life I lived as a child. The anxiety attacks were forcing me to do just that. If I ever wanted to be free I had to get out of my make-believe world and look at the "stuff" I had stuffed all those years.

I didn't know where to turn or what to do next. I only knew I wanted this awful anxiety to just go away -to wake up and feel "normal" again. Anxiety led to agoraphobia and while being housebound I watched plenty of TV. It was back in the beginning days of Christian television. You had something called an UHF antenna(this was before cable, for all you youngins'). It hooked to the back of the TV and if you wrapped it in aluminum foil and held it just the right way, the program would come in. The picture was always snowy but at least it had sound. The early days of the 700 Club peaked my curiosity. They always talked about Jesus,the testimonies of people who had given their lives to Him and how lives had changed. I listened as Ben Kinchlow said this man, Jesus, knew the number of hairs that were on my head and how He loved me and wanted to change my life into something good. He talked of a healing Jesus, an approachable God who cared about every detail of my life. The days went by and I heard more and more. I realized that this same Jesus could heal me of anxiety attacks. He could make my life worth living again, worth the effort to get up and face the day.

The strange thing is I went to church, I sang the hymns, taught Sunday School class and never heard about this Jesus. I heard about being good and doing right. Never once heard about reading the Bible or knowing Jesus as personal Savior and Lord. I didn't rob a bank, cheat, lie or talk bad so I was good to go as a "Christian". Right? Wrong! There was more, A LOT MORE! I couldn't do enough things right. So that my right column outweighed the wrong. Jesus had given His life for my sins. A free gift, the only way to pay for my sins was through the blood of Jesus on the cross. When you are at the end of yourself and there is no more you are able to do, you know there has to be more.

I knelt in front of my TV and gave my life to Jesus Christ that day. I wish I could say that I was instantly healed and never had another attack and never had a bad day since. That would not be the truth. I don't understand everything that has come my way but I can tell you it was worth and I have never desired the old life. That day was my first day of freedom! I would walk two years before I would be completely free from anxiety attacks. It would be harder to trust the Lord to get out of my house and drive. But indeed I did and my life has never been the same. The day I drove myself to Bible Study Fellowship was the sweetest day of my life!

I am thankful for the things the Lord allowed in my life because I can tell you I am authentic, the real deal, valid, because of what He did in, around and through me.

What about you? Where are you today? Are you battling anxiety and fear? These days it's easy to have some of both, isn't it? Maybe you are like me, growing up in an abusive home, wondering what your worth really is. Perhaps you didn't know the Lord has a plan for your life or that He really loves you? I mean, how could He, the way you grew up? Please know that one day you will have to trust someone. Would you consider today trusting the One who created you and has your good in mind? Would you simply ask the Lord Jesus to forgive you of your sins and come into your life. Accept the free gift of forgiveness and a new life with Jesus. Oh, you may wake up tomorrow with all the same problems, but now you will have someone to walk along beside you and help you, a future and a hope. You will now have the promise of heaven when you pass from this earth. It wasn't easy to give up control and trust, but once I did it was more than worth it and I have never regretted a day.

Now I have something else on my mind: Perhaps you are a Christian who gave your life to Jesus at a young age. No dramatic testimony of abuse or sadness. Your family life was "normal" and nothing outstanding in your past. You hesitate to share your testimony because of that. Well, your testimony is what the Lord kept you from. I have a friend who grew up without a dad. She sometimes laments about not having a father growing up. But what she is missing is what the Lord spared her from. Now don't get me wrong, of course, we all want great parents and good families to grow up and have memories with. But this is the real world, and sometimes that just doesn't happen. The Lord can show His great love for us by what He spares us from or rescues us out of. We won't know fully until we are with Him. Until then we are to trust Him and testify to what He is doing in our lives. Forget the "cute" and go for real. It will serve your good and His glory. Love you, dear ones. Until we hear the shout!

Hello Friends!

Hello to my Canadian friends. Great job in the Olympics!

Hello to my friends in the UK. We have prayed for you often.

Keep reading and let us know what you think of this blog. We will be anxious to hear your remarks.

Until we hear the shout,
Darla